11 Lies People Tell When Dating Online

For many, online dating has become a way of life. Gone are the days where meeting someone in the parking lot of your local Starbucks is your first interaction. Today, by the time you get to Starbucks, you have already chatted endlessly online about what you want in a person and the person you are meeting already has a good idea what you look like and what you like. Although people have changed the way they meet potential new mates, one thing that has not changed is the need to verify that what someone is telling you is true. Yet many people, even when "meeting" someone for the first time online, are remiss to investigate people using the same medium - even though it is now much easier to do. It is almost as if meeting someone online has given people a false sense of security - helping them believe that what a person says about himself or herself is 100% true. Some people also falsely assume that the dating websites they are using will properly vet the people who sign up. Nothing could be further from the truth. So how can you protect yourself when meeting people online? Trust, wait and investigate!

We have put together a list of some of the lies people tell online so you can be aware of them and protect yourself.

1. Using a fake or altered name.
   Believe it or not, but a lot of people lie about their names when they sign up for online dating websites. Sometimes they lie because they do not want their real name out there until or unless they find someone they really want to get to know. Sometimes the reason is more insidious. Some people have a criminal history they are trying to run from and their use of a fake or altered name is to prevent others from being able to search or find out about their criminal history. Court verification using the name and address information, can help you determine if the person you are dealing with online is using a fake name. Look up the name on your local court website. Most states in the US offer court information online. If the name and address yield someone with an age that is far off the mark, you might be dealing with someone who is being dishonest and you may need to move on and let that person go.
2. Using pictures that do not truly reflect what the person looks like.
   Many people are guilty of this, however, online you just cannot get that first look that you take for granted when you meet someone in person. The only verification for this is actually meeting the person, but there are a few things to think about. Is the person hiding what they actually look like because they are ashamed, is the person trying to set you up to see what you look like first before they reveal themselves to you or is the person just a scammer. Ask the person for current pictures of themselves. If they balk or are unwilling, you know something is wrong. If they give you pictures and then you meet them in person and they look completely different, then you should terminate your relationship with that person. At the very least the person is a liar and, if a person shows you that they are a liar in the beginning, you have nothing to look forward to but more lies. 
3. Lying about their where they live.
   Many people lie about where they live online. Sometimes they do this to prevent people from showing up on their doorsteps and sometimes they do it because they are living with their families and want to keep them in the dark about their online activities.  Sometimes they do this because they are ashamed about where they live. Saying you live in your mother's basement does not really inspire amorous feelings - even if it is true. There are other reasons people lie about where they live, but again, at the very least the person is a liar and, if a person shows you that they are a liar in the beginning, you have nothing to look forward to but more lies. 
4. Lying about their relationship status.
   Some people are greedy by nature. They could have everything they need and then some, but they still want more. Some people on these online dating sites are already in committed relationships. However, they are looking for a little outside activity. This can be hard to pinpoint. However, if the person consistently refuses to meet up with you by continually offering you excuses, refuses to give you real address information or can only talk to you over the phone at odd times, you might be dealing with someone who is already in a relationship. If you have the person's real name, you can look up marriage certificates on a state by state basis. If you do not, however, getting to the truth might be harder if you cannot pin this person's location down. If you do find out that a person is already in a relationship, run away fast. At the very least the person is a liar and, if a person shows you that they are a liar in the beginning, you have nothing to look forward to but more lies. If they are willing to lie to the person they are already committed to, they are certainly going to lie to you too. Do not fall for any reason the person tries to give you for being dishonest. 
5. Lying about their interests.
   This one will be simple to spot once you start really seeing the person face to face. Very few people can continue to feign interest after that initial honeymoon phase. In fact, most psychopaths use shared interest to build a rapport with a person, but quickly drop the act when they get what they want or discover that they cannot get what they want from a particular person. Be on the lookout for people who are quick to love everything you love. If it sounds too good to be true, oftentimes it is. If the person starts to try to stop you from enjoying things they pretended to enjoy as well, this is often a sign for you to get away quickly.
6. Lying about their past.
   Everyone has a past. However, everyone does not lie about their past. Some people will tell you that they do that to avoid discussing it because it is too painful. However, the reality for most people is that they are lying because they did something wrong and do not want whatever that was uncovered. This may be lying about their sexual history or lying about their past relationships or lying about their past accomplishments. Either way, it is lying and you need to run for the hills.
7. Lying about their sexual history or orientation.
   This can be a bit confusing to many. If you are homosexual, why would you lie and say you are heterosexual? For many people, the issue is one of acceptance. Perhaps they were never fully accepted for who they are. Perhaps they do not accept who they are and what they really feel themselves. Sometimes it is for religious reasons and sometimes it is something far deeper. Instead of trying to figure it out, move on. A person who is confused about who they are or who is full of self loathing is not going to make a good mate.
8. Lying about what they are looking for.
   This is a classic and this can be hard to spot. Many people who date online are looking for casual relationships. However, they also understand that coming right out and admitting this to most people would be an instant turnoff. So what do they do? They lie. They say they are looking for serious relationships when they are not. They say they want commitment when they do not. They say they are in it for the long haul when they are not. They try to gain your confidence to get what they are looking for and then they are done. To ferret out these people, you have to trust and wait. Investigating does not often uncover the truth about these people. However, staying vigilant and paying attention to what they say often does. If the person seems to be head over heals in love from the outset, that is a sure sign that something is wrong.
9. Lying about their income.
   Again, this is a classic. People often inflate their bank accounts or what they have when they date in person and online. However, online dating often lacks a certain connection. When you meet someone face to face, you can see how they are dressed, how they talk, how they look and, in some cases, what they drive. This is not possible when you start off online. However, there are warning signs. If the person starts asking in-depth questions about your finances, asks you for money or asks you to help them out of a financial issue after proclaiming their own great financial status, that person is likely lying about their finances.
10. Lying about how many dating sites they are on.
    There is likely no worse feeling than seeing someone you care about spreading their information on multiple dating sites after having lied to you about where they are advertising themselves. While many people like to and should look in different places, people who lie about this are often doing so to cover up their true intentions. If you come across a person who has felt the need to lie to you about being on multiple dating sites, do not feel like you have to waste your time with this person. Take it as a sign and move on quickly. People who lie about things like this will lie about many other things that are far more important.
11. Lying about what they feel about you.
    We all want to feel loved and cared about. Predators know this. They know this and they prey on those feelings. Oftentimes people in online dating scenarios are courting multiple people at once. Although it is a given considering the nature of the medium, some people are still inclined to lie about this so they can keep their options open. After all, it does not make a person feel good to hear that a person you like is dating other people and keeping their options open because they are not sure about you and want to make sure they lock in with the best person they can get. Instead of saying that, a lot of people will just lie because it is easier. In this case, asking questions and telling the person you are interested in that you do not mind if they are talking to other people might get them to open  up. If their online dating is a problem for you, say so and move on. If they have lied and you have managed to catch them in a lie, you know what you need to do - run. Just because you are looking for love in online places may not mean that you want to date a serial dater.

The bottom line is that online dating can be fraught with pitfalls. It is important that you take the time to investigate everything you are told when you meet someone online and give them time to show you their true colors. Because of the break-neck speed at which we can meet people, we often take for granted that there are unscrupulous people just waiting to prey on those of us who are trusting enough or naïve enough to not investigate them. Do not be a victim. People will play all kinds of games according to their wishes and whims. It is up to you to decide if you want to play along. Remember - trust, wait, but always investigate!

The Trust!Wait!Investigate! Team